I’m harder now
Than I was when you first knew me.
That squishy, yielding woman--
Blown this way and that
Like so many leaves in so many
Breezes-- has calloused over.
The callow body that unbridled ardor
With confident hands working the reins
Is now hollow, softer on the outside,
But harder
Within.
Time has lapsed
Refusing me its calming wisdom,
Its certainty. Instead I am green, ripe and rotten
In one. At once child like, mature
And old soul rolled into this
Hardened shell.
Time has not been kind,
Nor cruel, really.
Its indifference stirs the pendulum, then
Calms the chaotic breeze and, eventually,
Silences.
Some of my sweetness is gone,
drained
And strained through the sieve of time.
And yet the wine of this fruit is delicious,
Culled from bruised berries
Of my body, bitter berries
Of my being, and yet…
When mulled
Will warm you
To your depths
And satiate deep thirsts.
The buoyant body, I’m afraid, and the brazen unawareness
Have flown, pigeons through a town square
At twilight, shadows over cobbled stone.
Children skip toward warm houses, full
Of dinner’s scent, couples murmur as they turn
A huddled corner in trenchcoats and heels,
While old men in herringbone caps throw scraps of bread,
Hopeful for reprieve, for the pigeons, his company,
To return and eat and coo and share the nightfall.
But they will not return tonight
And the wind turns cold.
He rises, his litter
Of crumbs shuffling beneath his feet.
And me, you ask? Am I
The child, the lover, or the elder?
You, love, are the dusk, I reply.
Seaming day and night on the edge
Of afternoon and evening.
When the sun falls degrees below the horizon,
You hold the night while releasing
The day. You stand vigil for the old, hear the whispers
Of the lovers, and beckon the babes to safety,
Warmth and light. You are the explosion
Of color in the west, the stark gray bleakness
Of the east.
And then you are the un-blackened darkness
That surely ensues.
The dusk? you repeat, wide-eyed and disbelieving.
As if you didn’t know. Yes, love,
The dusk. For with you, I say,
I do not miss the sun, nor have I ever longed for the moon.
